Cinematical reports Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted has been optioned. Considering how I felt about the last piece of Palahniuk I encountered, I can't say I'm really over the moon regarding this latest development. Since Haunted contains an infamous story about a guy whose bowels are sucked out of himself by a swimming pool's water filtering system while he's masturbating, I wonder what they'll be handing out as schwag. Fox Searchlight gave out anal beads for "Choke." Maybe "Haunted" audience members will get a Prolapsed Rectum Fix-It Kit.
