I Dedicate This Post to Xeni Jardin

Ron Jeremy v. His Ghostwriter, Round Two

Ron Jeremy responds to the Great Porn Ghostwriter Debate:

"He says people only care about who I fucked. All I’m saying is people care about furry puppies more than my dick. So, how about a chapter on my work with PETA?"

Considering how many people visit this blog every day while searching "ron jeremy penis," I'm dubious about that point.

Best Selling Porn Scribe Bites Back

Earlier today, New York's culture blog, Vulture, ran an item about running into porn legend Ron Jeremy at BookExpo America. Jeremy expounded at length upon his best-selling autobiography, Ron Jeremy: The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz, now in paperback, particularly that it was a bestseller.

Jeremy opines book publishing is a harder business to understand than porn, declares he beat Jenna Jameson in European book sales, and disses his ghostwriter: "[Jenna Jameson] gets Neil Strauss, and I get Eric Spitznagel. He got a lot of stuff wrong. We were delayed by one year, the things he got wrong."

Spitznagel is a Reverse Cowgirl pal, so I shot him on email on the matter. His response follows.

"I don't recall the book being delayed for a year because of factual errors. From my memory, it was delayed because Ron was too busy hosting wet t-shirt contests and signing tits at strip clubs to meet with his ghostwriter. He was also unamused that I decided to write the book rather than, say, just transcribe his long, rambling monologues word for word, directly from the tape.

I do remember that he wasn't pleased with my first draft. He thought my version of events placed a little too much emphasis on his porn career.

'Every page is just sex, sex, sex,' he yelled at me. 'Why does it all have to be about sex?'

'Well, you're a porn star, Ron," I reminded him. 'I'm pretty sure that's what people are expecting.'

'What about my work with PETA?' He suggested. 'Can't we include a chapter about that?'

'Unless you fucked a sheep, I don't think anybody cares.'

I sincerely apologize to Ron for not being Neil Strauss. But honestly, I suspect that even Strauss would've been flummoxed with instructions like 'less stories about the Golden Age of porn, more stories about hanging out with Mickey Rourke and Frank Stallone.' I stand by my decisions, even if they weren't popular at the time. If I didn't argue with Ron, there would've been no mention of his ability to self-fellate, or that he was once involved in a 14 women gangbang and somehow didn't have a heart attack. Instead, the book would've had at least sixteen more stories about how Slash is a close, personal friend of his and, like, totally respects him. Ron may feel like he was shafted, but I like to believe I made the world a better place."

Esquire's Five Most Ridiculous Porn Scenes

Esquire.com has a listicle featuring the five most ridiculous porn scenes ever filmed. Or, you know, the five they happened to choose. Because porn is pretty ridiculous across the board. In this scene of searing porno acting, Ron Jeremy before he got pregnant stars opposite Randy West before he got old in an unforgettable rumination upon love and loss, life and death, meaning and unmeaning that concludes with a reference to "fucky-fucky." God bless America.

Hard

Ron Jeremy's Ron Jeremy: The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz, published by HarperCollins and co-written with Eric Spitznagel, is No. 32 on the new New York Times Hardcover Nonfiction Best-Seller List.