Question #1:
Hey Susannah Breslin-Answer: No.
I've read your website since way back when it had, I think, a different name. I'm a filmmaker and am always thinking about making a movie about porn. There's gotta be another one besides BOOGIE NIGHTS (that's good). Probably other folks have contacted you about your book and "movies", but if you're out in Los Angeles again maybe we can grab a cup of coffee. I get these kind of requests and am sometimes put off, so if this is out of line we can go through our agents.
I don't really know anything about your book, of course, but I know you've been obsessed with the making of pornographic material and I enjoy your sensibility. I sent you some bukkake rules I found and you posted them. I sorta have a bukkake in a goofy film I made called [redacted].
a fan,
[Redacted]
Question #2:
Dear Ms. Breslin,Answer: No.
My name is [redacted] and I am an Instructor-type at [redacted] in majestic [redacted]. I am writing to ask your permission to use select text(s) from Reverse Cowgirl as source material for a performance project I am planning for fall of 2009. A bit of context… I am developing a performance centered around music, math, and the body. Vague yes, but I’m only in the collecting phase of my process. I came across your blog within the last year or so and am really struck by your writing. In particular, I am extremely interested in the manner in which you resist cursory readings of the things you write about--whether it be feminism, porn, or the difficulties of being a writer to name but a few. As an academic I identify closely with certain philosophers and practitioners that ask me to look beyond what’s easy and ask different sorts of questions that move beyond the surface, and oftentimes get a similar vibe when reading your writing (FYI- I hate the fact that in some way I identify as an academic type--sigh).
Like I said, I am simply collecting materials that connect in my mind around the themes of the performance. If you want I can give you more info, like how I envision a mesmerizing sound and media-based performance project that explores the ability of the body to produce multiple meanings over time especially with regard to repeated sequences of math and music, if you want. But generally speaking I can tell you that I am interested in using the moments of your writing where I get a real sense of how complicated you understand a lot of writings/attitudes toward the body to be.
Logistically speaking, the performance would be a non-profit, undergraduate event, with a run of two weeks at the most. Regardless of the size of venue I wanted to write you and make sure it was cool with the understanding that you would be cited (sometimes in the actual performance I would think). I could be more specific about which texts I was interested in using the closer we got to the rehearsal phase in August. If you have major reservations or any additional questions please drop me a line and let me know.
Hope you are well,
[Redacted]
Question #3:
"Above all else, they are deeply, profoundly, unbearably sad."Answer: Yes.
I was very sorry to hear that. And the horrible truth is that no matter how bad it is- yes, there is something worse.
When I was young and returned from sea. I would sometimes end up at the fringes of conversations where people were topping each other on some fucked up subject. I could always wait until the end and crush the competition. It was funny for a while- in a brittle, been-there-done-that way. Then it became harsh, when I could just keep topping my last story. Then, it just became hard and ugly.
I know what you mean. At first, you drink from the fire hose because it is there. Then, I began to notice there was a taste and I did not like it. Finally, I was not thirsty and longed for a desert.
Today, I am so sensitive it startles me. When did I become such a pussy? The people I have know, the stories I have heard, the things I have seen- when did I get so soft?
There is the flip side, for me. I have stories that are sadly human but also profoundly funny. Before there were blogs, I wanted to start a blog of sea stories.
And there is the great purgatory in between. Stories that I tell that sometimes bring down the house and other times are answered with shocked silence. I still can't quite tell the difference.
The best part about going to sea was being at sea. The ocean is an alien universe that filled me with daily wonder. The rest was people. You have the people and the situations. I hope you have a flip side.
I have a personal question for you. Do you have trouble meeting people's eyes, now? When I was a child and when I went I first went to sea, I could stare a person in the eye without problem. Now, I have trouble maintaining eye contact. This kind of troubled me for a while. I started holding people's eyes again and paying attention to my reactions.
When I figured it out it was both illuminating and sad. When I look into most people's eyes, I feel that I know exactly what they are thinking. I see the fear, anger, bitterness and pleading. It makes them feel smaller and desperate to me. It is more than I want to see in people. It doesn't bother me with friends and family. It is too much in everyone else.
