Word Up, Kids

1. I'm tired. But in a good way. I think.

2. Someone who reads this blog sent me something. Most of the time, I don't answer emails that people send me because I am antisocial. That is how I roll. But this guy I email with because we worked on a subject that was the same, and so there's that. Anyway, for a while, until this week, really, I had been posting sort of grim and hello I am drowning kinds of posts. For various reasons, really. Anyway, at a certain point, he sent me an email and was like saying he wanted to send me something. And I was like, ah, no. Because who knows? Maybe it would be something godawful. And then he was like, well, this is what it is. And then I was like YES, please. And I got it in the mail today. I went to check my PO box, and there was a yellow note, and it sent me to a package, and inside the package was the thing that he had sent me. What was it? It was one of the "Magnolia" frogs. One of the ones that had fallen from the sky. He said the frog had been like a kind of writing talisman for him, and he wanted to pass it on to me, and since "Magnolia" is one of my all time favorite movies, this was a great thing indeed. My ex-boyfriend in Los Angeles worked in special effects, and there was a point in time, I dimly recall, that there was a possibility, years ago, that I was going to get one of those same frogs back then, but it didn't happen.

3. Based on some various things that have happened in my life recently, I have decided there is no way of understanding anything. You can call it luck, or chance, or fate, or destiny, or a deus ex machina, but whatever it is, it is beyond the scope of human comprehension. Who knows why things happen? Nobody. That's who.

4. I got quoted in this piece about "Mad Men": "She created some controversy when she wrote that 'Mad Men is man porn,' and in an interview with Maclean's, she adds that the show 'fetishizes the era before the advent of political correctness, offering up a fantasy of a time when men were men, women were women, and politically incorrect fantasies weren't only permissible but livable.'" There's something missing, for me, in "Mad Men." It's not quite dirty enough. In that New York Times Magazine piece there was a lot of whining about how HBO hadn't picked up the series, like they didn't take it seriously, but there's a bite lacking in "Mad Men" that "The Sopranos" had in pitbull spades. "Mad Men" is so... anal. "The Sopranos" is full-frontal. I guess I prefer my drama hardcore.

5. Every weekday, I post twice a day at Animal. It's been pretty cool. I'm getting the hang of it more as of late, I guess. And by "hang of it," I mean learning how to be as spitfully (yeah, I made that word up) cruel as The Copyranter. Well, I mean, that's what I aspire to; it's not like I'm there; not yet anyway. (I'm sure that was a highly illegal use of semicolons, but whatever.) Anyway, people are noticing. I'm the one who called these girls "culturally parasitic members of the human race." Also? I made fun of midgets. Payback on that will be a bitch. Oh, well.

6. If you want to read the best letter from a john ever, read the one I got and posted tonight: "I Partook." Thank you for your glass-shattering honesty, John #39. It's about time.

7. Fruits of my day job labors: "Condom Controversy." Not bad for a first full day on the job. Internet, I salute you.

8. "Anna Wintour, you are a fucking pussy." I guess I won't be writing for Vogue anytime soon. Dammit.

9. I almost forgot. Last night, I watched "Heidi Fleiss: The Would-Be Madam of Crystal." It starts out beautifully, but isn't much of a movie, really. More like a postcard. The best part is when Sheila Nevins asks Heidi what she looked like before all the disfiguring plastic surgery, and Heidi says: "A monster."

10. Yes! For all those of you who have written in, concerned my new job will interfere with my novel-writing, I am still writing, and I have no intention of stopping. I think this is the part where I am supposed to say something profound. Maybe you should listen to Eric B. & Rakim instead: "if I strive/Then maybe I’ll stay alive."