Return to the Unporny Valley

This week's episode of "30 Rock" featured a storyline in which Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) attempts to create the XXX holy grail of 21st century pop-culture artifacts: a porn video game--because he wants to leave a legacy of import behind for his children. Kotaku has the clip in which Frank explains why it can't be done and teaches Tracy about the Uncanny Valley. Which reminded me of the graph above, which I made last year. The whole episode is pretty fucking funny. In all this Grand Theft Auto IV handwringing over the issue of sex and violence, there's been little discussion of this theory. The fact of the matter is that the simulated sex in GTA IV isn't very graphic--or very realistic. The satire inherent to the game is taken to the level of parody when you watch the way the pixels try and make the girls' jiggle wiggle realistically. I think what I find most striking is how exquisitely embarrassing this whole debate will be in hindsight, a few decades into the future, when our digital renderings of human sexuality look like Lascaux cave drawings to the perverts of the future. Of course, the consequences of the virtualization of pornography are of great interest to me. As it turns out, it's this kind of sex that will be what kills the real porn industry in the end--not Bush or his anti-porn replacements of the future. Porn stars will be replaced by fem bots who fuck the way our controls them to. Who knows, maybe we'll all be the better for it.

When I was an adult, I picked up a hooker in Vice City. After my car swayed gently to her moaning, I let her get out of the car and I then ran over her, got out of the car and took my money back.

Did I feel bad? No. She was made up of pixels and artificial intelligence, not life, and I guess I could tell the difference.

Completely off subject, but I wish we would hurry up and make some robot hookers. I'm looking at you Japan. -- Billydeville

Grand Theft Aftermath

A few of the responses to yesterday's post, "Grand Theft Are You Fucking Kidding Me?" via email and Boing Boing comments.

I am not amused. This blasé contrarian response just looks like yet another shallow "cooler than thou" post-feminist attitude. -- Madprime

First, he seems to assume that the feelings of johns represent the feelings of men in general. Maybe they do, but I'm gonna need a hell of a lot of evidence before I believe it. -- Raya

Are you referring to Susannah Breslin as a guy? She might not take too kindly to that. -- Antinous

Susannah Breslin sounds like an ass. -- Jccalhoun

Reverse Cowgirl has been staring into the abyss too long. -- Noen

Grand Theft Auto IV doesn't bother me, but Susannah Breslin moronic perspective is offensive. -- Silas

I've liked Susannah Breslin in the past, but the sneers at "polysyllabic" language are just fucking stupid. -- Patrick Nielsen Hayden

I think it is worth noting that I am 29, and have played all versions of this game, starting at age 18. I do not kill people. I do not rape, mug, shoot, stab, discriminate, abuse, use, or any other negative toward my fellow humans. Oh, and I've also looked at porn. So, it would seem that the argument that this game makes you develop an antisocial personality is mistaken. Anyone with a cursory knowledge of mental illness could have told you that. -- Rangzen

As a 25 year old educated male feminist working for the police I find the amount of hysteria that these games raise amongst people absolutely ridiculous... It isn't that the game is about killing prostitutes or visiting stripclubs that makes it appealing, it's that those things are possible along with a plethora of other things including: becoming a vigilante, putting out fires, driving ambulance, driving taxi, repossessing vehicles, watching tv, surfing Rockstars own parody of the internet, flying a helicopter, jumping 2 buses on a motorcylce while tossing molotov cocktails at a hummer, play darts, play pool, go bowling, get drunk, rough up criminals, eat a hamburger, buy a nice suit, take a girlfriend out on the boardwalk, watch a really really lame cabaret and comedy club... the list goes on and on. Killing is an integeral game mechanic and sleeping with prostitutes is just window dressing, don't construe the IGN video as some sort of overarching example of the game.-- Grimmway

Dear Susannah,

There's nothing more dull than an ill-thought out, anti-feminist rant from someone whose professional life is devoted to satisfying their need for affirmation and exhibitionism/portraying themselves as licentious, fucked up, beautiful, porn obsessed, fragile, depressive and yet, somehow, deeply intelligent.

Maybe, if you got over your aching need to be liked by men, you could start liking women more. Hell, maybe you could even start liking yourself.

Yours hopefully,
A.