What's That On My Doorstep? Oh. That Must Be My Fox Searchlight Anal Beads (TM)

So, a few weeks ago, I wrote about how Fox Searchlight was passing out anal beads to promote the fall release of "Choke." At the time, I emailed a Fox Searchlight VP of publicity, Melissa Holloway, who confirmed Fox Searchlight was, indeed, passing out anal beads to promote an upcoming movie--and she said she'd send me a set. My Fox Searchlight Anal Beads (TM) were in the mail! But then I didn't get my anal beads. Totally tragic, I know. Anyway, I figured that out not long ago, and I whined about not getting them, and then lo' and behold! I walked outside today, and there was a big UPS box on my doorstep, and I thought, oh, it's some godawful book from some craptastic publisher, and then I peered a little closer, and I saw the box read: "FSL -- CHOKE -- BOOKMARK BEADS VER. B (BLACK)." And I think you can figure out what was inside. Anyway, thank you, Fox Searchlight! You are my new BFF. Now if only Doubleday would send me their Snuff promotional lube, I'd be all set.