The Worst Porn Movie I've Ever Seen

Previously, I've written here about the best porn movie I've ever seen, which is, of course, the only good porn movie ever made, which is, obviously, "The Operation," which is great for many reasons, most significantly because it allows you to see inside of other people.

Over the years, I have seen a great many porn movies. For a time, I had it stockpiled everywhere, because people kept giving it to me, and sending it to me, and it was in the closets, and the cabinets, and under the bed. Eventually, I moved, and after the moving guys had removed everything else, I pointed to several large black garbage bags, and explained what was inside of them, and the men sort of half-smiled and ducked their heads, and they picked up the bags, and then they were gone.

For several of those years, I was interested in seeing whatever I figured no one had seen, or what was hard to see. I don't know why. If the point was searing my brain, I succeeded. I saw bestiality porn, puke porn, pregnant porn, 86-year-old woman porn, midget porn, Ron Jeremy in a diaper porn, bukkake porn, gokkun porn, the world's biggest gangbang porn, sideshow porn, golden shower porn, coprophagy porn, people pretending to be dead porn, handicapped people porn, hot dog porn--you name it, I saw it. Some of it I saw getting made in person. Because of this, I sometimes consider that I have something in common with those who work in the FBI's AOS or DoJ's OPTF, those who are employed to see the worst of the worst, the basest of the basest, the craziest of the craziest. Because that's what you often see, if the people in them go far enough. You bear witness to those among us who are in the process of losing their minds. Only, this time, someone was there to record it. The sex? That's pretty irrelevant.

When I was in Los Angeles not long ago, I met someone who showed me some videos, and in sum total I would have to say that they were far and away the worst thing I've ever seen. By miles. That they were porn movies was incidental. They induced insomnia. After I saw them, if I closed my eyes, they would replay across the backs of my eyelids. They are focused on conjuring madness, and depict moments in which human beings behave in ways that are not simply primal, or animal--they are incomprehensible. They are so singularly fucked up that I haven't been able to even come close to describing them since viewing them. To anyone. Including you. And it's not what happens in them. It's what doesn't happen in them. There is no stoppage. No limit. No boundary not crossed. Here, transgression reaches the bottom of the pit, and what we discover of the pit is that it is deep, deeper than one would have thought humanly possible. In the end, no one is saved. Above all else, they are deeply, profoundly, unbearably sad.

So, if you came here, as some do, from googling "best porn movie ever made," there's the other side of the coin. Best not to forget about it. After all, whether you see it or not, it exists, some apocalyptically fucked up moment in time, repeating in an infinite loop, for whoever happens to watch it.

[Update: Please don't send me emails asking me how to get a copy of "The Operation." I don't know. If you want to find it, you will.]

Quote of the Day: John Stagliano

"Today, the new young pornographers I meet wear as a badge of honor their devotion to the art form of porn." -- John Stagliano

And Then I Chopped Off My Head

This is so boring as to be mind-boggling. Blah blah blah, the LA Times, "Dust-Up," pits pornographer John Stagliano, blah blah blah, against law professor from Pepperdine, blah blah blah, for big obscenity debate. Two dudes spend a week writing emails to each other online for us all to see in which they dissect the hardcore, pornographic subject matter like two surgeons poking at a half-dead body. I read shit like this and my eyes glaze over. Blah blah blah: Pepperdine guy calls for some kind of decency. Blah blah blah: Stagliano gets his knickers in a twist and defends his right to make squirt movies. The premise is ridiculous and the consequences are retarded. Are you fucking me? I mean, really? Is this 1981? Are we still debating this crap? Haven't we been through this already? I thought we could talk about something more interesting like, say, why everyone is so interested in shit like this. The fact of the matter is a recent obscenity case is what led to this pseudo-intellectual debate in the LA Times, and the only reason that story became such a big one is that America couldn't get enough of a story about scat videos. What America wants is more of what they came here for, whatever it is they haven't yet seen, and that's what these stories are really about: fucking, squirting, shitting. The story here isn't obscenity law. It's what's obscene. And our refusal to admit that fact, to see it, to address it--well, that's obscene.

Quote of the Day: Lawrence G. Walters, Esq.

"'We tried to come up with comparison search terms that would embody typical American values,' Mr. Walters said. 'What is more American than apple pie?' But according to the search service, he said, 'people are at least as interested in group sex and orgies as they are in apple pie.'" -- "What's Obscene?"

Quote of the Day: Steven Mikulan

"AS THE YOUNG WOMAN in the movie gulped down her second helping of excrement, one had to wonder how a film critic would begin a review of this video, whose shit-eating subject, Mako, is also slapped, finger-gagged to vomit, raped and forced to drink her own urine — all for real. Would it be, 'The camera loves Mako, make no mistake ...'?" -- "Will a Scat-Porn Trial Bring Down the Powerful Judge Alex Kozinski?"

Obscenity Trial Judge Recuses Self

Alex Kozinski, the obscenity trial judge who presided over the Ira Isaacs scat 'n' bestiality trial of Ira Isaacs, has recused himself.

"'In light of the public controversy surrounding my involvement in this case, I have concluded that there is a manifest necessity to declare a mistrial,' said Alex Kozinski, chief judge for the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. 'I will recuse myself from further participation in the case and will ask the chief judge of the district court to reassign it to another judge.'"

Boy, Yale must be in a lot of trouble.

Related: "Who Watches the Porn Watchers?"

"Who Watches the Porn Watchers?" I Do.

Balk asked me to write something about The Scat Video Case That Has EVERBODY Talking! So, I did. It's "Who Watches the Porn Watchers?"

"Without a doubt, whether or not Laurie's Toilet Show is art is highly debatable, but Isaacs has found himself center stage in what appears to be the great shit debate of the 21st century. From CNN to the New York Times to the Times of London, the only-in-America tale of the pervert judge presiding over the obscenity trial taking place in the home of the movie making business has captivated the world."

You have to appreciate an editor who lets you get away with referencing the "great shit debate of the 21st century." Not everyone, you know, understands.

I Hate It When That Happens

"The LA Times's Scott Glover dug up Kozinski's site on Tuesday, later getting an acknowledgment from the judge that the materials — 'which included a photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows and a video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal' — indeed belonged to him..." -- "Obscenity Trial Judge Was Pretty Sure That No One Could Access His Personal Porn Website"

You Can't Make This Shit Up

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Looking for the Poop on Ira Isaacs?

Since Googlers are still coming here in droves looking for links related to Ira Isaacs, the coprophagy and bestiality pornographer currently on trial in Los Angeles thanks to a federal obscenity indictment, my interview with Isaacs is here and the outtakes from that interview are here. The UK Times chimes in here, the New York Daily News here, and the AP here.

"Mr Isaacs has on many occasions compared himself to James Joyce and D.H.Lawrence, both of whom faced obscenity trials in their day. Indeed, Mr Isaacs has chosen to ignore the community standards defence and will instead argue in court that his 'shock art' deserves First Amendment protection.

But can a porno flick involving human defecation seriously be compared with Lady Chatterley's Lover?"

Pictured: The Adoration of Captain Shit and the Legend of the Black Stars (2nd Version), 1998, by Chris Ofili

Oriana Small aka Ashley Blue on Paul Little aka Max Hardcore

Late last week, Max Hardcore was found guilty on obscenity charges. In response, Oriana Small weighs in with a post on her blog: "Emotional Audience." In her unique blogku style, the adult performer deems the decision "unjust" and proclaims Hardcore, whose movies are routinely labeled misogynist, "the most unique pornographer in the business." Instead, Small, who regularly blogs her sometimes extreme sex life with her partner, photographer Dave Naz, speaks out for adults' rights to "partake in consensual piss-guzzling, ass-fucking and vomiting." The entry is accompanied by a series of photos in which Hardcore appears to be attempting to insert his entire hand into Small's mouth.

Ira Isaacs Obscentity Trial Starts Today

Ira Isaacs, who was named last year in an eight-count federal obscenity indictment, heads into the courtroom today, and the LA Times has a profile. Since it appears by my referrer log that people are coming here looking for Isaacs-related information, you can find my interview with Isaacs at Radar Online, "But Is It Art?" My outtakes are here.

The Times reports: "In a statistic that some may find every bit as shocking as his work, Isaacs said he was selling about 1,000 videos per month at $30 apiece before being raided by the FBI early last year. The number has since dropped to between 700 and 800 per month, but they still generate enough money to pay the rent on a house with a pool in the Hollywood Hills.

Isaacs predicted that many jurors would not be able to stomach viewing the movies, some of which feature acts of bestiality and defecation.

'It's going to be a circus,' he said of the upcoming trial. 'I think I'd freak out if I had to watch six hours of the stuff.'"

It's difficult to know what will happen in the courtroom. The incredibly intense nature of the videos will be hard for jurors to navigate their way through, and Max Hardcore's verdict last week doesn't bode well. But as Scott Glover points out in his story, the judge presiding over this trial is a truly unusual character. Alex Kozinski presided over the case of Mattel v. the band Aqua in a dispute over the song, "Barbie Girl," and opened that trial by stating, "If this were a sci-fi melodrama, it might be called Speech-Zilla meets Trademark Kong," and concluded, "The parties are advised to chill." Ultimately, LA may be more liberal than Tampa, but what we're talking about here is coprophagy and bestiality, subjects most Americans have a hard time being objective about, to say the least.

Quote of the Day: Jeffrey J. Douglas

"'Max Hardcore,' he said, 'is barely a cartoon of a human being...'" -- Jeffrey Douglas (See: "Max Hardcore Found Guilty")

Max Hardcore Found Guilty

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I, Nick Denton, Pornographer

Well, it looks like Nick Denton is getting into the porn business. Not satisfied with merely running a porn site portal, Denton appears to be quietly rolling out a new service this week: Fleshbot Video on Demand. For just $84.95, Gawker Media offers you 1,000 minutes of live, streaming hardcore porn, including masterpieces of hardcore cinema such as: "You've Got a Mother Thing Cumming 2," "Monsters of She Male Cock 4," and "GloryHole." Let's hope the DoJ's Obscenity Prosecution Task Force and the FBI's Adult Obscenity Squad don't try and take down Denton for distributing obscenity; after all, the squads routinely bust distributors as part of their obscenity prosecutions against adult producers. But if it happens, maybe Denton and Max Hardcore, who's currently on trial in Tampa, could have tea.

Quote of the Day: Paul Cambria

"'It's the same test, but obviously a much more difficult case,' noted First Amendment attorney Paul Cambria told AVN. 'Not that they haven't been won in the past. It can be defended, and they're not impossible to win. My former partner won [an obscenity case involving bestiality movies] in New York City about 20 years ago involving a German shepherd. I remember the case: "Every Dog Has A Bone."'" -- lawyer-to-the-pornographers Paul Cambria

Max Hardcore on Trial in Tampa, Florida

Thank goodness for Mark Kernes, the only reporter on the planet who has the temerity to go traipsing around the country, attending every obscenity trial that Porn Valley hath spawned. This week, Kernes is reporting live from the frontlines of the Max Hardcore obscenity trial in Tampa, Florida: "The Max Hardcore Obscenity Trial: Day 1."

The judge is a woman. I don't now if that bodes well for Max. (Real name: Paul Little.) Hello, Judge Susan C. Bucklew.

On the first day, everyone debated whether or not the jurors were going to have to watch all eight and a half hours of Hardcore entertainment. Why? Because of the Miller Test, which says the work must be evaluated "as a whole." But then "Judge Bucklew stated that she would have to watch the DVDs in their entirety before she could make a decision, and the prosecution handed the five DVDs to her as court recessed..." Is Judge Bucklew watching "Golden Guzzlers 7" right now?

After that, jury selection began. You know you are talking about some seriously hardcore movies when one juror is excused after stating "she was unable to look at anyone vomiting without getting nauseous herself..."

The chosen jurors include a museum worker and a pawnbroker.

The 2 Girls 1 Cup Defense

Not long ago, I read an interesting interview on AVN.com--Adult Video News is the trade magazine of the adult video industry--by Mark Kernes--the Walter Winchell of Porn Valley. The subject of the interview was Ira Isaacs, an adult video director, producer, and distributor who was named in an eight-count federal obscenity indictment handed down last July. While the Department of Justice has made a habit out of targeting extreme adult videos--take for example, John Stagliano's indictment of last week, featuring "Milk Nymphos," "Storm Squirters 2," and "Fetish Fanatic 5"--the ouevre of Isaacs is without a doubt the most hardcore of all the DoJ's recent targets. To wit, Isaacs trades in shock videos, including fecal-themed features like "Laurie's Toilet Show" and "Hollywood Scat Amateurs No. 7" and bestiality videos like "Gang Bang Horse (Pony Sex Game)." A spokesman for the US Attorney's office in Los Angeles described the content of these videos as "unsavory." And I'm not going to dispute that. When the indictment was first handed down, I googled several of the titles. They aren't very pretty. I'd suggest you not follow suit. Years ago, I got Dan Kapelovtiz at Hustler to loan me a compilation coprophagy video. Why? I do not know. I sat on the edge of my bed and watched it. It was hard to describe. I've seen a lot of very, very hardcore adult videos, but this one beat all. There was a scene in a dungeon with a shouty German dominatrix and a submissive woman who looked to be out of her mind made to lie on the floor, and a line of men there, and there was this way the body of the woman on the floor seized up in horror when it happened... If only I could unsee what I've seen. Last month, Kernes interviewed Isaacs, and the interview is interesting. According to Isaacs, he's an artist, a "shock artist," who compares his work to that of Robert Mapplethorpe, Andres Serrano, and Chris Ofili. "[P]eople don't buy my videos because they want to watch people having sex," Isaacs opines. "Regular porn does that. I need to convince people that mine is serious art." And perhaps most interestingly, Isaacs and his lawyer, he says, intend to pursue an unprecedented legal defense. The 2 Girls 1 Cup defense, that is. Isaacs explains: "'What it is, is, there's videos all over the internet of millions of people watching this [Two Girls, One Cup] video, and it's a shock video, and people record their reactions...' '[T]he idea is, millions of people are watching this video about girls shitting in each other's mouths, vomiting in each other's mouths, and they are not, I think, obviously looking for prurient interest to masturbate. People are trying to shock themselves, because in today's world, everything is shock on TV... People need a lot to be shocked these days... What I've done is, I think, really shocked people, and I think that's why the federal government is on this case.'" While it remains to be seen how the 2 Girls 1 Cup defense will play out in court, Isaacs is right about one thing. In the 21st century, adult videos may be more hardcore than ever before, but so is the American public's taste for it. "It's making people ask a lot of questions," he says. "If you look at this Two Girls, One Cup stuff, you're going to see people like you've never imagined watching it, and they don't look away; that's the funny thing about it."

Update: On Boing Boing, UNDERGROUNDBASTARD writes:

In United States v. Gugliemi (819 F.2d 451), the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals considered the legality of bestial pornography, sided with Alan Dershowitz' contention that the grossness of the events depicted in the defendant's film, "The Snake F**kers" was so extreme as to not appeal to the prurient interests demanded of the pornography standard. In short, it was so gross it was beyond pornography, which is what the defendant here is arguing.

I Know It When I See It and This Is That

On a cold morning in January, FBI agents converged on a modern brick office building in Koreatown in a mission conjured up at the highest levels of Washington: to rid the world of adult films by an obscure niche producer named Ira Isaacs.

From his 12th-floor suite above Wilshire Boulevard, Isaacs, a stout, fast-talking 56-year-old Bronx native with a short ponytail and a lopsided "soul patch" of black hair under his lip, sent out some stomach-churning porn...

Specifically, it raises a question of whether increasing public acceptance has shifted the legal standard of obscenity--once aimed at the works of such authors as James Joyce, Henry Miller and William S. Burroughs--so that only the most extreme margins of porn can be stopped. --Los Angeles Times

Max Hardcore Indicted

Max Hardcore has been named in a 10-count federal obscenity indictment. The Smoking Gun story is here. Hardcore's statement is here. Evan Wright's 2000 Salon story on Hardcore is here.